Haven’t read Chapter 5 yet? Do that first.
They screwed me.
All that time and effort building the greatest European tour the world had ever known and POOF… the commissions were gone. All good, I had an idea: ONLY do shows in New York so I could show up to the venue and collect the money myself. At the time I thought I was brilliant, turns out that’s a totally different occupation. I was not longer a music agency, I had morphed into a concert promoter.
Here’s how it happened….
I emailed all the best venues in New York and struck a deal with a few shitty clubs.
Now I had to convince my clients to perform at a shitty club so that I could ensure they paid me my fuckin money. But there was only one problem: Most of my clients didn’t live in New York. So I went out music scouting. At the time I was drinking (13 years sober now) and I’d head over to singer songwriter nights in drunken stupors at random spots trying to find some magical act that could draw a crowd.
I stumbled on Julia. Julia was amazing. I approached her right away. She was a queer idol and had like two hundred hungry lesbians desperate for her affection. I asked her to perform at Crash Mansion. Who wants to perform at Crash Mansion? Nobody, but I asked her to do me a solid while I worked on some bigger venues.
I went out to venues every night looking for julias. I stumbled on Black Taxi. They were a rock band with a lead singer who had gotten into medical school yet his Mick Jagger persona kept him on stage. They drew 200 screaming fans. I had to have them.
And so it went for another four or five months till I had a roster of twenty NYC-based musicians who could sell tickets.
Then I got the big reply… it came from the Music Hall of Williamsburg, the biggest and most prestigious venue yet.
I put this group I found, FUCT (the Fordham Underground Comedy Troupe), together with Julia and Black Taxi and named the show The Blackout. My idea was if everyone loved each other, they would work better together (and promote each others’ performance) and THEN they would feel the need to push the show out to their email list. So, I put together a BBQ to let all the artists get to know each other and brought frisbees and booze and all sortsa shit to help relationships form.
“We have to work together, feel like this is a big family in order for ALL of us to get excited about this show,” I told them. Not sure they cared about what I said.
This is the biggest show many of them had performed. The Music Hall of Williamsburg had I think a 750 person cap, and for me? Well, it was game over once we filled this venue. 750 x $25 at the door = money.
They agreed to give me 40% of the door (the venue did) and so I had to make sure I could still have a profit after paying out the bands.
This was my moment. My big break.
Didn’t work.
It was a total flop. 170 people showed up. I lost tons of money and drank myself to sleep, but not before writing an insane email to the talent buyer of the venue telling him I’d do better next time.
Wish I hadn’ta written that…
But good news? He felt sympathetic and told me he knew that feel all too well.
For that reason, he gave me another shot. Not only that, he told me he could put me in touch with Jay–the talent buyer at The Mercury Lounge in the Lower East Side. That venue had a smaller cap and might work better for my artists the guy told me.
I said listen. I will fill both venues and I will do it on the same weekend. He said well… Let me know when you have a bill lined up.
And that’s when Colin saved the day. Who is Colin? Some guy I hadn’t even met yet…
